New draft for ancillary text back (back of CD cover)

I have decided to change my ancillary texts. I've realised that my ancillary texts don't really suit the ideology of my video, they look to girly. The draft of a back of a CD cover is what I want my ancillary texts to be like, I believe they are more edgy and will create continuity between my ancillary texts and my video. 

Feedback on first draft of music video

Basic/proficient 

Comments: 

-Consider adding an effect over the top of your footage (gray scale/black + white) as it looks like it is simply filmed in front of a wall. 

- When the wind is blowing through the artists hair try making the footage slow motion for added effect. 

- Take out some of the bedroom scenes as it makes the video look less 'realistic' and like it has been filmed in a 'normal' bedroom.

- Consider removing the record effect. 

- The black and white footage over the singer looks good. 

- Too much is happening in the video and this breaks down the continuity (less is more), there is to many different clips.